A friend posted on Facebook that she had another children’s book coming. While she claims she is not a writer, I am certain that she is spending her retirement days writing. Why I keep thinking about this certainty is a manifestation of envy. But other than envy and regret, procrastinations and lack of regular writing are my true enemies. During a celebration of the anniversary of the Christian Writers Fellowship, among all the members present, only I have not published a single book, poem, essay, or story in any other available platform in the past five years. This made me realize that sadness can also come from this, missing those moments of doing what one had so desired to do.
FIRST SENIOR MOMENT: generation gap alert
In a podcast called THINK MEDIA they have instructions on how to set up, sustain, and grow a YouTube channel to success. What makes it different from podcasts dealing with this subject is that the owner is a Christian. His spiels also share how he applies biblical principles to his business venture.
The norm in publishing has changed immensely. Those who aim to write a book has to begin with a marketing strategy that capitalizes on social media presence. They ‘must leverage’ the number of subscribers to their ‘YouTube Channel’ and later on publish an e-book, fully confident about their readers.
These more or less comprise the new, exciting challenges in writing and publishing. The question How to Write As a Christian has become more urgent in this age of Tiktok. Equally crucial is How to Address this generation gap in learning about marketing and publishing in the age of AI.
SECOND SENIOR MOMENT. health alert
I woke up with pain in my abdomen that persisted for a whole day. Apparently, these are the gallbladder stones acting up. I tried drinking my favorite Starbucks brew this morning but I had to throw the rest of the coffee and finished the corned beef pandesal later on. At lunch break, I had shrimp and clam soup with vegetables but left the rice scarcely touched. I drank only tea and warm water because I fear that this pain will get worse.
This morning at the Hospital I consulted with an opthalmologist, a gastroenterologist, an endocrinologist, and an ob-gynecologist. The obstetrician-gynecologist did a pap smear, and prescribed one dose of Funzela to be taken after meals. She wants to see me again next week, after ordering a transrectal ultrasound with a gentle reminder about cancer being asymptomatic.. The endocrinologist, ordered a laboratory test on all the metabolic functions related to my thyroid problem. Urine, blood cell count, cholesterol, sugar, tr4 THs, calcium, potassium, vitamin D — these were ticked in that doctor’s checklist. To have this test, I need to fast for eight hours. A mammography and ultra sound of the breast will follow in this series of medical examinations.
FOURTH SENIOR MOMENT. budget alert
This yearly check-up routine always takes about four to five days, and with pending laboratory tests, need to be pre-scheduled. The opthalmologist prescribed Torvadex for the bacteria on my eyelids. Unfortunately, Mercury drug is out of stock on that antibiotic. Naabak, the twice-a-day eye-drop solution and Optive Plus artificial tears for dry eyes are lifetime eye care maintenance that cost me more than a thousand pesos.
Not everybody can afford a health card. The pap smear alone cost 1400 pesos plus, which the health card covered. The medicines cost me 2000 plus on the discounted prescriptions, and 200 pesos on the undiscounted thyroid maintenance drug. Add the taxi fare and meal allowance during a series of check-ups and you become more convinced of the necessity of a side hustle that pays.
FIFTH SENIOR MOMENT. mortality alert
By the end of this month, I had been to three funeral wakes – the first one was ES’. From the testimonials about this former colleague, I heard new revelations. During his time at work, he seemed slow and unmotivated. But witnesses of his life’s routines gave testimonies of his caring attitude, and his active engagements in sharing the gospel.
M’s mom, 98 years old at the time of her death, was an old woman with a joyous smile in her funeral picture. A video flashed pictures of her old self playing Angklung as a member of an orchestra. She left a legacy of a love for music to all her children. One picture had all of them, M included, playing a musical instrument in a family concert in church. M’s mom had lived a full life. She was a faithful steward of her gifts — a teacher, she got her Ph.D. in theology in her mid 60s.
Before this wake, another artist’s passing has stirred me up about the meaning of a life lived to its fullest. MA was a poet and a Christian activist who loved and served this country with the utmost creativity and patriotism. She compiled her poetry in a book called A Journey in Verse. Her memoir is a witness to how as a Christian activist, she had stood in the gap in praying and interceding for her country.
How do I live a fuller life in my 60s onward? Hopefully it is a life filled with kindness, like ES’, or in earnest stewardship of gifts like MN’s mom, or with love for the country and its people, like MA’s. This is impossible by one’s own effort. The only way to live a full life is by getting closer and more intimate with God, and to always be still before His presence to hear His Word of wisdom. These senior moments nudge me to live by faith and not by sight, onto a more Christ-filled life.
